Every window in my house is covered. At first, it was just to save on heating bills in the winter and AC in the summer. But then, the darkness just became… appealing. Even during the day, it’s pretty dark.
Save for a pinprick of light.
The peephole in the door is the only thing I haven’t bothered with. It’s like a tiny circular window, easy to cover up and subsequently enclose myself in the black. However, it’s not as if I’ve lost interest in the outside world, I just don’t feel motivated to join it. There’s nothing keeping me from leaving but my desire to live in warm, dark comfort. It always burns at first when I raise my right eye up to the tiny hole and peer out, but I quickly adjust.
It really is amazing.
Everyday, many people pass by my house. Couples, stray cats, intrepid young boys too young to realize I’m still here. It’s all very interesting, and the best part about peepholes is that no one sees you from the other side.
It became like an addiction where I’d remain poised at the peephole for hours, staring and observing the lives of others through the fleeting instants where they were in my vantage point. But things change. Even if I never change, the outside world will.
Violence.
How did this happen? Why can’t the peephole tell me why I’m watching people are committing murders in my front yard, or setting things on fire? Why am I the lucky one? Why am I still here? Do they not realize? Why can’t I pull away from the door, the terrifying light?
Who’s knocking?
I barely see the top of her head, but I know it’s the little girl who enjoys walks with her mom. Her mom isn’t with her. Why must she knock on my door? She backs up, waving and screaming. Her right arm is wounded. Why can’t I open the door? Why are people like this? Why was I idiotic enough to want to see? Who is that man headed for the girl?
Panting, I step away from the door and pretend I can’t hear her screaming. In the dark, my fingers fumble for the square packet. I find it in a room within a room, and peel one off the top.
I approach the door, fingers trembling. First, I run a thumb over the two locks, making sure they’re still just- locked. I put the sticky note over the peephole, and retreat into the depths of my house.
Now all the windows in my house are covered.
